Its been an emotional summer...

ya know first it started out with Shayne leaving, then having to head to Ohio and see Shayne's parents who haven't spoken to us hardly at all since the falling out in April, then a dear friend of ours from NC who hubby was deployed got killed, so we drove South for the funeral. And now Shayne can't come home to see us at all.

Now looking at everything going on around us I don't know why I couldn't find the strength to blog or clean...can you? I miss my husband so much, and I am trying to hard to find the strength that I have had for weeks, but Tyler's dad getting killed kinda of put my life and heart into prespective, and I am trying very hard to grab my boot straps and MOVE FORWARD. His death was a true realization that "there but before the grace of God" could be our family. I love the Navy, and I am proud of my husband, but this deployment, and Roger's death make me hate this war and the evil in the world that exist. I saw my son and his dear friend grow up so fast right in front of my eyes. We have had deaths in our family, but none that felt this close to home (ya know friend, someone our age not an older person, and deployed...and with Shayne gone right now it was scary).

Life will move forward for everyone, but as I sat at that funeral watching that dear boy and his mother so brave speaking to the auditorium, I realized I didn't know if I could ever do that. I know, I know we all do what we have too, but daily since I found out about this tragedy, I try to remember that I need to tell my family I love them everyday. Do I really want the last thing that they remember to be me yelling at them? The true display of heroism for any of us isn't so much how we live our lives, but who we touch along the way. I want my children to grow up and believe in the community, the country, and their family the way Shayne and I do, and I know that we are giving them that direction. I am sorry that words are never enough to help anyone thru such horrible things in life, but I do know that some place Tyler's dad is watching over all of them and touching the lives of so many people...he is truly an angel for all of us.

Tonight IF I get to talk to Shayne I will once again hold my tongue about being mad at the Navy and the deployment, and be grateful that I have one more day to love my family. If you haven't taken a second to say "I love you" to someone special in your life, do it, this summer has proven to me that we aren't guaranteed any amount of time, and that life is way too short to miss any opportunity.