Its over....

...football season that is, and GO COLTS. It was a hard day to sit here and watch that game w/o Shayne, but we survived. He called during 3rd quarter, and it was nice to hear his voice.

I don't know how to get through some of these days, I mean he's been gone FOREVER now, its supposed to get easier but a friend of mine said "there's light at the end of the tunnel" which is true, but I can't reach the light. I feel like I'm running through fog, and I just can't breathe right.

I used to just pray for him to be safe, and to make it through to the end. Now I am back to begging God to make this go quicker....I NEED this to be over. I NEED him home to fix stuff, and hold me, and talk to me, and bitch about the bills, and hold me, oh yeah I said that LOL guess I miss that a lot tonight.

I hope that when this is over we find US again, and we don't find we are LOST. I don't want to be another casualty of this awful war. I want to just get back to some semblance of normal, and I want to smile again and feel it like I used too.