30 days in...

Well this family actually made it 1 month since hubby left. There have many, many lonely, sad, and down right miserable days, but we did it…and at the moment the check book balances still.....which is a plus in hubby’s eyes LOL. Anyway I have spent the past month looking for that one thing that would help my kids count down the days without being too taxing on me emotionally. I mean the Kisses every night in a jar was cool, except I have 4 kids do you realize that would be like 840+ pieces of candy…OMG that is a nightmare waiting to happen for a wife on a diet LOL. Then there was the paper chain activity, well it seemed like a great idea, but the thought of having paper all over my house, no, I couldn’t do it, I mean I worked too hard to be a GOOD HOUSEKEEPER LOL. So after a month of thinking about it I came up with an idea. We would celebrate every MONTH we made it without killing each other.

So today I got a cake and 7 candles (this will be an issue if hubby stays longer than 7 months but we’ll worry about that then). We lit 6 of the candles to symbolize the 6 months we have left to MAKE it without our HERO. Then in 30 more days I will buy another cake and we’ll light 5 candles but we’ll leave the 7 to REMIND us how far we’ve come TOGETHER.

So I guess the MORAL of this blog would be to FIND what works for YOU. Whatever it is that helps you as an INDIVIDUAL or as a FAMILY to get though a separation then GO FOR IT…and above all remember to SMILE, it does help.

Recipe for a Navy Wife

1 ½ cup of Patience
1 cup of Courage
1 ¼ cups of Tolerance
Dash of Adventure
1 pound of Ability

With above Ingredients, add 2 Tbsp. of Elbow Grease.
Let set alone for 6 months. Marinate frequently with Salty Tears.
Pour off Excess Fat
Sprinkle ever so lightly with money.
Knead dough till payday.
Season with International spices.

Bake 20 years until done. Serve with Pride.

So I have this recipe hanging on a beautiful cutting board on my wall in my kitchen. Hubby bought it for me last year at this time. Ya know he was finally ACTIVE duty and we had access on the base to a beautiful craft shop. Ok so lets look at this recipe. Lets pull it apart for so understanding here: 1 ½ cup of Patience (NEVER had any of this). 1 cup of Courage ( um well I SOMETIMES have this…ONLY when necessary though). 1 ¼ cups of Tolerance (oh yeah this would be another one of those attributes I have lacked forever). Dash of Adventure (well I do have this ingredient…I so love to travel and see things and oh yeah spend money LOL). 1 pound of Ability (apparently I have proven to myself in the past month that I have ability but didn’t know it before he deployed). 2 Tbsp. of Elbow Grease (as a mom I have MORE than 2 TBSP…LOL). Let set alone for 6 months. Marinate frequently with Salty Tears (currently living this one). Pour off Excess Fat (weight watchers is helping out with this one LOL). Sprinkle ever so lightly with money…Knead dough till payday (yep LIGHTLY…did ya see that one…LIGHTLY with money…NEVER enough). Season with International spices (well maybe when he gets home…I mean he is in ANOTHER country…whoo hooo counting down the days till I can add those SPICES LOL). Bake 20 years until done (well we are over 14 years so we are on the way to completing this step). Serve with Pride (well hopefully Shayne is proud of me when he gets home and sees that I DID IT).

I’m not sure I am a TRADITIONAL Navy Wife but ya know what, I don’t care, all I want to be is myself. I want my husband to worship the ground I walk on, and spend TONS of money on me, and be proud of everything I do. Those things with him by my side would be the things that make up my RECIEPE for a Navy Wife. Guess NOT everyone knows how to make changes to recipes to have them work with their lives but we are working on it. I hope everyone looks at what society demands of us as WOMEN, WIVES, MOTHERS, and LEADERS and knows that we are all doing the BEST we can do, even if its NOT what the RECIPE called for originally. Good luck finding your recipe to life.

Good Days CAN happen

My post today on Military Mom’s message board got me thinking. That I NEED to be more THANKFUL for what I have instead of sitting here mourning what I don’t. I mean I am LOST that my husband is gone. He truly is my heart, and the love of my life. I miss his handsome face, and the fact that he farts on my couch while I’m sitting in the same room. I even miss Bubba Burgers (that is so a story for another blog LOL). But I know that I can’t spend every waking moment LOST in my pain and frustration of having to be IN CHARGE. I have spent days worrying that I am doing the bills wrong, or not moving FRIEDA (that’s his beautiful RED MUSTANG) enough, and this morning when I woke I realized it DOESN’T matter if I’m doing it right, as long as the bills are paid on time, and the account isn’t overdrawn, then I’m ok. I know there’s a credit card for emergencies so I am truly fine. Today was probably the first day in a MONTH that I KNEW I was ok.

I missed shopping with him today, as he truly is a hoot. But I took the babies (well they are my babies at 2 and 3 yrs old) to McDonalds to play and they had a blast. I bought Seth a pair of Spiderman PJ pants because he is so into the SUPERHEROS. KD got a doll and she had to have Dora Underwear LOL. I then went and got Hubby a couple things for his upcoming boxes. I know that he’s not the easiest to buy for because he really doesn’t want ANYTHING but I feel better if I send stuff I think he needs…LOL So I got him some magazines he really wants, and got some more pictures of the kids and I have a video of my oldest sons football game to send him this week-end, as well as a PRESENT from me LOL no hints there gang sorry. But in a month he’ll have something to smile about too. So I went to the “GROWN UP GIRLS” store today…OMG I felt OLD…I didn’t realize ½ that stuff existed LOL. However Shayne if you’re reading this I did manage to spend a couple dollars…LOL.

I asked him the other night if he was TRULY ok, and to not just give me lip service. He told me it was a routine now, and except for missing me and the kids, he was ok. That it was only 23 more weeks (sounds much better than 162+ days doesn’t it LOL). I guess the only way to face this SEPERATION is head on, when I have the strength and when I don’t I need to cry a few minutes, take a nap and then start all over from a different angle. I love him and miss him horribly but today I am ok, which leaves me hope that maybe there will be MORE good days in the future. Until then I am just gonna enjoy today. Hope everyone else is having a nice day too.

Laundry?

Where does it all come from? I mean there maybe 5 of us here right now but (go with me for a minute here) that’s only 5 outfits and 5 towels a day right (on average). So how in 2 days can I have 6 loads of laundry when we know that 14 towels makes a load. I guess it GROWS. I mean it must. Every week I do ALL the laundry…except for the outfits we are wearing (5 right?). Then the next morning I AMAZINGLY have 3 loads of laundry. Now come on how does it grow? Are the sticking SOMETHING in the laundry detergent that works like MIRACLE-GROW? I can not figure it out.

So today as I folded clothes I LOOKED closely at WHOSE stuff I had. I have taken 4 piles to the boys room. These would be the kids who wouldn’t bathe if I didn’t make them. I mean if they have a 4 day week-end I think they wear the same underwear from Thursday night…yeah I know gross LOL. But my point is how in 2 days can they have 4 PILES of clothes for me to wash, dry, fold and since they are both YOUNGER versions of their dad…probably put the stuff away too. Then as if that wasn’t enough I had 4 PILES of towels…ok I’m not gonna even make an issue here because I am a towel hog, and I hate to have to hang a towel to dry and re use it…so we’ll move beyond the towels. But I have taken 6 piles of clothes to my younger kids room….½ of which I know were CLEAN not once by TWICE already (and even this I can over look as they are 2 and 3 so they think dressing up is fun). I took my piddly pile of clothes to my bedroom….and I have 7 things ( I still have whites to wash so I have more LOL) but 7 items in my room to put away. So reading this, I can guarantee you except for towels, I am the LAUNDRY culprit here. I think that Osten , Mackenzie, and I are coming to a meeting of the minds here. There CAN NOT be this much laundry in this house.

Can you imagine how miserable it would be if we were back in “Laura Ingles Wilder Days” I mean no Maytag to hurry the process along….and those nails we are all trying to grow while hubby is deployed…well they’d be nonexistent now wouldn’t they LOL. So I guess I have a couple options here. I can be Mommy Dearest and rant and rave about the NEVER ENDING pile of LAUNDRY or I can grin and bear it and know that someday their kids will get even with them LOL. I think I’m gonna go with the later one and bide my time and then I’m gonna LMAO. Hope ya all don’t have as much laundry as I did today. Happy Washing gang....I was just looking at my past blogs...um ya think I have some HOUSE CLEANING GUILT setting in LOL. Guess I better get my rear in gear and get to CLEANING.

Who lives in your house?

Ok so I was reading my friend Peggy’s blog yesterday about her hubby not actually ever being in their new apartment and it got me thinking about who lives in my house. Now realistically I know my husband is coming home (soon I hope) and that everything will have to go back the way it was. But at what point does that kitchen cupboard, or the master bathroom become yours? I mean I have my own space and things I actually call "MINE" even if my kids don't agree LOL.

See my husband OWNS the master bathroom, and the closet in there. He also has a corner cupboard in my kitchen where he stores all his granola and oatmeal. So what’s changed? Well he deployed, and I started cleaning a few things up...well not cleaning but rearranging because I got to look in places I hadn't looked in for a year. That corner cupboard is HUGE. OMG I can't believe he actually packs it with like "GOOD FOOD" do you know how many bags of Honey BBQ chips I could hide in that cupboard? Holy cow. Then I realized that the toilet in the master bathroom stays CLEAN if hubby isn't in there 100 times a day. Its actually white LOL. Now I did look in the bathroom closet and if I cleaned it out it would be a decent closet. But as it stands now its a great place to put all his MILITARY GEAR. Its never lost that way.

So anyway back to the topic of my blog. I realized that my husband was actually NOT living here for the time being when I opened "HIS" cupboard and found my splenda, and my weight watcher 2pt snack bars, oh and cream of wheat...and other stuff that would NEVER be in there if he was actually LIVING here LOL. So here's what I figure. If he wants to RETAIN any of the spaces that he calls HIS, then he will have to FIGHT me for them. Because I live here, so possession being like 9/10ths of the law and all...I guess that makes the cupboard MINE now....LOL. And since we're on the topic of acquiring possessions Shayne, your son and daughter think that they ONLY sleep on your side of the bed. So guess you'll be fighting me for the toilet, cupboard, and MUSTANG, and Seth and KD for the bed LOL. You are missed honey, but I do LOVE the cupboard.

To clean or not to clean?

So here's the deal...Before hubby deployed I had an I'm LAZY phase on my house cleaning (yeah a bit of depression and such...LOL) but the ORIGINAL game plan was to CLEAN, CLEAN, CLEAN everything as soon as he left. So we're almost a month in and NONE of the HUGE cleaning I wanted to do is done. Sad I know but such is life for me right now I guess.

I think part of the main issue is that there's NO REAL SCHEDULE. I mean except for getting the kids, to school the babies fed, and put down for naps, and the general cleaning, then picking them up from their activities, doing dinner, homework, baths and then bedtime...Where on that list of "DAILIES" is there any time to actually do MAJOR cleaning? There really isn't.

However the point of this blog is to REMIND myself that even though hubby isn't coming home every night that I can't let this place go. I mean my house is an "everything has a place...Put it in it" type of house. But I can tell you the past two days I have been a dog with cleaning. I just DON'T want to do it. No I'm not depressed...I just don't see the need too. Why? Oh yeah there's NO SCHEDULE. Hubby isn't coming home, my kids don't care if all the laundry or dishes are done. However in my "flu/cold sickness" I have going on today I am looking around this house and well, I care. I have 5 or 6 loads of laundry and dishes to do, and a kitchen floor to scrub, and OMG we aren't even gonna discuss the toilets that need cleaned LOL.

So where does that leave me? I gather that the GROWN-UP side of me says to get my lazy rear moving and get this house cleaned. However the I wanna be a "COUCH POTATO" side of me says he won't be home till Spring so that means just SURFACE cleaning...whoo hooo. Guess that being said I gather its time to get on a REAL schedule and get some CLEANING done and be a grown-up. Gosh if that isn't depressing LOL. Till tomorrow everyone get "CLEANING."

“Hurry up and WAIT”

OMG for sure if you are in the military or married to someone in the military you know what this phrase means. I sat here this evening waiting. Oh yeah waiting for an email. Now I know the man is calling on Sunday right…so I don’t have to sit and wait for the phone to ring. That’s great but tonight I waited on an email. OMG go figure.

Let me tell ya what I have decided about “Hurry up and WAIT” its EVERYWHERE. I mean if you’re a mom you are always HURRYING them along to get ready, to get moving, to finish homework, and to get dressed after the football game and in the car ASAP…..BUT we end up WAITING. OMG do we WAIT. Who takes 30 minutes to remove a football uniform? Then we have potty training. Another “Hurry up and WAIT” thing in life. Do I even need to explain this one…NOPE ya all know it stinks. I guess I could go on and on listing all the “Hurry up and WAIT” moments in my life but realized I would probably EXCEED the bandwidth allowed for my blog so I thought maybe I could list a few things that DON’T fall into this category.

So THINKING…….STILL thinking….and hhhhhhmmmmmm yet STILL thinking. So after sitting her for a good 30 minutes I have decided that this whole “Hurry up and WAIT” attitude of our military life so shouldn’t one surprise me and two shock me I mean that is my life right? So if that’s the case why do I find this mentality so HARD to accept with regards to ORDERS, PCS movers, planes to arrive, I mean again the list could go on couldn’t it now? LOL. Do we do this to ourselves? I mean do we set ourselves up to be NUTS? Hhhhhhhhhmmmmmm maybe. Maybe in the overall scheme of things we really are NUTS? No, there’d be way TOO many of us NOT on meds to explain it that way. So what does that leave? I mean do we need to just have SOMETHING to yell about? Or is it a way to FOCUS our fear of the unknown elsewhere (oh that’s too Psychologically deep for me tonight to even process…LOL) so we’re gonna go with I’m NUTS tonight LOL and I am ANGRY that there is NOTHING I am in control of sometimes in life. Back to the ORIGINAL thought of EVERYTHING being “Hurry up and WAIT” in my life.

Guess I better find away to accept this attitude in my life and stop complaining about it or hell I may need meds and therapy LOL. No that’s its I’m gonna EMBRACE this, and smile….yeah JUST as soon as he has ORDERS so I can PRETEND I know when he’s coming HOME LOL. Anyway gang, hang in there, I just wanted you all to know you aren’t ALONE in this “Hurry up and WAIT” thing we call LIFE.