Sometimes....

....not knowing is better than actually knowing. This AM Shayne called and said "when it hits the news I'm ok." Of course my first response is what happened...and yep all you military wives know the answer to that and so did I as soon as it came out of my mouth, but of course I got the "I'm fine don't worry about me today." Thats code for "can't tell you" and I know that, but it sucks.

Now part of me is like OMG why did you call, but in watching the news 11 hrs later I got a blip of what happened, and was like "oh damn it." So although I worried and wished I hadn't known all day, if he hadn't had 23 seconds to call and say I'm fine, I'd have been devastated and sick with worry.

So sometimes that no news is good news is a good thing. I miss him so much, and today was tough but he's fine, and I'm fine (tired and need a break) but we keep plowing ahead, and hopefully sooner than later I can "see the light at the end of the tunnel" usually the 1/2 way point it gets harder emotionally but the days "look" like the dwindle quicker. So until then I'll just "go with it."