One day at a time....

.....that's how Shayne is getting thru. At least that was our conversation this AM. He is doing fine, and I know he'll be ok (much better than last week-end). But I heard him this time say "I get thru it one day at a time," and I felt a tug on my heart strings, because that's how I got thru the last one. But this time...although I am still getting thru one day at a time, its been so much easier on me. Like the right now I have 100 things we have to get done before school lets out in two weeks, so although my heart misses him so much and it hurts to breathe with out him here, I don't have time to wallow in it. OMG that sounds heartless, but I can't...I just can't be as "lost and depressed" as I was the last time.

I worry about him and his "mental" state with where he is and the type of "issues" he deals with, but I know he's ok, and every moment he gets thru is one day closer to getting back to us. I can't imagine, nor do I really want too, what it is he is living. But this time he's doing much better being involved in the kids lives, and actually listening to them.

Deployments suck for anyone and everyone, but they are a downfall to the job, and its just that it's a job. We'll see it thru and hopefully on the other side get a couple years uninterrupted before the next one. However deployments have this underlying POSITIVE thing for so many of us, if we can just SEE the END before we get there. For those of us left at home, we can do the IMPROVEMENTS we want, but they hate LOL cause we'll they aren't here LOL. We can pay bills the way we want, we can go to the places they don't like because they aren't here, and we can IMPROVE ourselves. We can look DEEP inside and heal the past problems or short comings that we have and we can be better individuals.

So how you face a deployment makes all the difference in your life. Time goes only so fast, and the emotions run hot and cold every moment of every day, but it doesn't have to be an "end of life as you know it" situation. You can chose to thrive during a deployment and fix yourself and the stuff around you till they come home. And for me, although its TECHNICALLY one day at a time, even one hour at a time. We're a different crew TOGETHER this time...and Shayne well we can't fix it for him, but I can tell you he is so very PROUD of how we are doing, and what we are doing to keep OUR life on the course we picked so many years ago.