Ya know I started blogging because it made me feel better, and it does. Then I got caught up in shopping and wrapping and all the other crap that you get caught up in at the holidays, and just didn't get on to blog. See even excuses here now huh LOL.Anyway tonight I was sitting here, waiting again...such is my life at the moment for a phone call I don't think is coming tonight. I know when he doesn't call its for some stupid reason and you would think after 3.5 months of this that I'd quit getting mad, upset, scared wouldn't you? Well I haven't, and I don't foresee it changing.
I love my husband, and I get to see him next week for a 96 hour leave. 96 hours...its not very much time when I have to share him with the kids and traveling back and forth, but I'd take 3 hours at this point. I miss him so much, and although I am truly anxious to see him, I am a bit scared too. I mean I am only 22 lbs less than when he left and on a big girl that's not even noticeable ya know. I wanted to floor him when he got home and be skinny...not exactly something I've been in the past 14 years. What if he gets off the plane and doesn't like what he sees AGAIN....I mean separation allows your mind to envision what it wants, and not what is. Hhhhhhhhmmmmm I wonder if I'll have the same problems with how I see him?
Oh well time will only tell. I haven't been blogging but I have tried to get on and write in the book I am working on since he left. I officially am over the 150 page mark. Boy who know I had so much to say about one topic LOL. Anyway I will get back into blogging again regularly, it can only help...but for now I am heading to bed to wait for that elusive phone call tonight.
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