Lost in the Atmosphere

Ya know we’ve all been to the beach at some point. You know that clear, dark sky on the strip with all the lights lit up and the breeze that you feel? Well last night as I walked out of Wal-Mart, I had all of those. The beautiful breeze, the clear cool sky, and every neon sign lit up. I actually stopped to take it all in and take a really deep breath. I realized that I’m ok. I mean its been a bad, bad week here…sick kid, bills to pay, visit to ER, and missing hubby.

When I got on the “HAPPY PILLS” I wanted…no NEEDED to believe that they were gonna make me HAPPY and smiling every single day. But what they really do is make you NORMAL. I mean I still have bad days, and tears but at least they aren’t everyday now. I know their doing their job. Shayne called and was amazing as he usually is….LOL he makes me laugh, and right now all I want is to see his face, to touch him. Its not sex I miss (I mean I do miss the sex) it’s the companionship. Its our friendship. Its our FAMILY. I mean its hard to understand (until you live something like this) how you can be surrounded by people and still be lonely when the person you love MOST on the face of the planet isn’t there. He is truly my soul mate. He is the reason I breathe.

I felt bad last night as I stood there, looking odd, in Wal-Mart’s parking lot. I felt bad that there were moments like this that we as a couple were missing. But then I realized that we weren’t missing them really…I mean he had that same sky, near the ocean that I did (minus the neon signs LOL). And maybe the reason I took two seconds to notice it last night is because he was noticing it too…I mean he was waiting on the bus to get to work so maybe he was looking up at the same time. Maybe that’s why I felt the connection. Think so? Well even if its not, it’s a nice feeling to think he was thinking of me at the same time I was thinking of him.