Fear of the Unknown

So the other night when hubby called he sounded a bit sad/depressed/ lonely/ frustrated…not sure which but he sounded all of it. So I spent the day worrying, and wondering what to say if and when he called. I mean for the kids and I we have settled into the “Auto-pilot” mode and are functioning here. I mean we have the occasional melt down but life has for better and worse gone on. I knew when he left that it would take about a month or so before it set in that he was ALONE and away from us. Now don’t get me wrong he loves us and we all have fun together but who doesn’t want a break once in awhile…come on now fess up we ALL do. So the 1st month wasn’t so bad, he was busy with tons of new stuff to do, and a new place to be, and the QUIET…OMG how I long for the quiet LOL.

So I decided to face it head on (Shayne’s NOT so favorite commercial LOL). Anyway I just out right ask him what he was afraid of, I mean is he afraid he’s changed…he said “no way that he hasn’t.” I said are you afraid that we’ve changed? His response was “well life has gone on for you guys like normal?“ I mean has it? I don’t think so, and he I don’t think realizes how MUCH we’ve changed as a family. I mean we used to get out 6 of everything for dinner and now 5 is what we set the table for (that’s NORMAL for us now). I mean the ultimate sign for that we have HAD to move on is that we have conviently lost all the spoons but 5..what the hell is that, I mean where do they go all the time? Oh I know my husband would blame his sister LOL as that’s what he did when we lived in Ohio, and his parents silverware went missing…he’d tell his dad “Paula must have thrown them away” dirty I know but we do all laugh about it now LOL. So anyway my point with the silverware was that I didn’t immediately go buy new….I mean why would I we have 5 spoons we can all eat still at the same time. But in all actuality we can’t all eat at once as we aren’t all here.

So how do I help him with out MELTING down myself. I mean I don’t cry tons or often as I’m afraid if I do, I’ll never quit. I am horribly lonely, but I do have friends I just need to utilize them better. I guess for me I just FUNCTION and I’m afraid that’s what he’s doing right now. But just functioning and not WITH it all the time puts him in a different place, and possibly at danger. I worry that the loneliness will get overwhelming and he’ll NOT force himself to work through it, I worry he‘ll avoid it and we all know that’s not good. I don’t know the answer, but I do know that as wives (military or not) we have to figure out away to help these men realize its all ok, and its ok to TALK to us about their fears, and worries. I’m not sure how to do that yet but I can guarantee you we as WOMEN, WIVES and MOTHERS will for sure find the answer somewhere.